Not So Ready For Some Football

My husband and I went to a pre-season football game, compliments of friends who weren’t using the tickets. Our team won, and I know why. They must’ve been privy to the expertise of the guy sitting right behind me. Yup, the guy with the beer paunch and the support socks clearly knew the game better than the guys on the field, and he NEVER STOPPED TALKING ABOUT IT. The team was trailing for the first three quarters, but luckily Socks Guy never stopped imparting his wisdom.

A few rows up and decibels louder than Socks Guy was a man who was pretty darn adamant that the team better work on their defense. This message was delivered with such gusto, the veins on his neck looked like knockwursts. His whole face was the color of knockwurst, too. Even when fans started chanting in support of his position on defense, Knockwurst Neck’s plea rang out above the roar. Even in the fourth quarter when Knockwurst Neck could barely stand at a 45 degree angle, he kept on pounding his advice to the field below.

Still we had fun, although I don’t know how anyone affords this entertainment on a regular basis. The price of the tickets alone was a figure so far out of our range we’d need a telescope to see it. It cost 25 dollars just to park. First, we got a couple of draft beers for 8 bucks each. They tasted like a skunk went for a swim in them. So we got a margarita and a bottled beer to wash the skunk out of our mouths. Then we bought sliders and nachos for dinner. The grand total for modest indulging and no tickets was $83.50.

Oh yes, and the picture above is what the stands look like an hour after everyone has left, and you are still searching for your LOST CAR KEYS. Aaarrrrgh! But thanks to Security for combing the parking lot. Whew!