Tall Order

I have a tiny pair of Giacometti sculpture reproductions that I bought years ago in Florence. I noticed them standing on my bookshelf, as if to remind me that I’ve got tall people coming to visit. Having tall people over presents a whole variety of planning problems. I’ve got my work cut out for me.

I have to get up on a stepladder and clean surfaces I haven’t seen in a very long time. While I’m up there I’ll have a look around and think, hmm…so this is what the world looks like if you are one of those tall people.

I have to dust the books and pictures on the top shelves, because there are people who are actually tall enough to reach out and grab one for closer inspection. Oh, how I look forward to dusting. Especially the top shelves. This is what I get for never cleaning anything that’s not in my line of vision.

I’ll have to reposition the hanging plants so the tall people won’t conk their too-high foreheads on them. I’ll need to push back all the furniture in my tiny living room. Otherwise they wont be able to sit down without bumping their tree trunks on the coffee table. I wouldn’t want them to go knocking knick-knacks onto the cheese and cracker plate, now would I?

I’m not ungrateful, really I’m not. I’m not jealous, either. Okay, I’m a little bit jealous. I have to hem all my pants, and I enjoy hemming almost as much as I enjoy dusting. But I’m thrilled they are coming. Here’s a teensy weensy rhyme to express my appreciation:

I love my tall people, really I do,
My house just wasn’t designed for you.

Now I’m off to the drugstore to buy hair color. If I have tall people coming, I’m going to have to touch up my roots.