Thursday, June 18, 2009

Tummy = Too Chummy

My husband is the type of person who always has to strike up a conversation. He‘s got a cheery comment or a joke for everyone – cashiers, bank tellers, repairmen, parking lot attendants - you name it. This mortifies our children. So it’s a good thing they weren’t with him earlier when he walked to the corner store to buy a Pepsi. I think it went like this:

Most of the employees at this store recognize us – we walk there nearly every day. This time my husband got in the line of a cashier he’s seen a couple of times but doesn’t know well. She was cute and young, and sporting a big pregnant belly behind her checkstand.


He gave his usual enthusiastic greeting, after which the young cashier squealed, “Ooh! My baby just kicked! Do you want to feel it?”


My husband, who doesn’t always think before he acts, said, “Sure!” and reached over to grab her big Pooh-bear belly.


One second…two seconds passed. Nothing happened.


Three seconds…four seconds…


That baby was not going to budge. I believe this was the baby’s silent protest against any future embarrassment from his mother.


Five…six seconds. My husband stared at the ceiling, now keenly aware of standing in a public place with his hands on some strange woman’s belly. Seven…eight. The cashier stared in the direction of her feet, though she couldn’t possibly have seen them. Nine…ten…


My husband finally relinquished his grip and pulled his hands safely into his own personal space.


“Gee...that was weird,” he said.


“Um, yeah, that was awkward,” the cashier said, hastening to finish the transaction. My husband grabbed the Pepsi and headed for the exit.


Do you suppose he found a lesson in there somewhere? Nah...probably not.



**In more pertinent news, next week Rena Jones is having a blog tour to introduce her brand new picture book, A New Job for Dilly. Check my sidebar for the tour schedule, and plan to enter to win a copy! Visit Rena’s blog for more info.

20 comments:

Bish Denham said...

My husband is friendly like yours too. He has been known to proclaim when seeing a pregnant woman, "My, you look beautifully (or wonderfully) pregnant!"

Rebecca Ramsey said...

Hilarious!
My husband would do EXACTLY the same thing. For an introvert like me--and for my kids-- it's a bit unnerving. It's funny that this kind of thing is what first attracted me to my hubby, and now it can drive me crazy. Still, it's sweet!

Stacy Nyikos said...

That so reminds me of my dad! He never met a stranger. As embarrassing and mortifying as it was as a child, I have to say, as an adult, it's made meeting people that much easier. I had lots of examples as to how!

Rena said...

OMG! And you didn't slap him??? This post has me LMHO! I can just picture your kids being there too. How funny!

And, thanks for the mention for A New Job for Dilly and our book tour. We're going to have a lot of fun! :)

Anne Spollen said...

If I say hello to someone and ask maybe one question, my kids sneak-kick me as if saying, "Enough, Mom."

If my husband or I had done that, I think my kids would have dissolved. Really, right into puddles.

Really funny though.

K said...

So funny!

At least she invited him to touch the belly - otherwise that would be very weird.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Oh yeah, totally awkward moment for your poor husband.

adrienne said...

Bish - That's sweet. I sure hope he's never been mistaken...that would be my fear.

Becky - We have much in common! :D

Stacy - Interesting point...I'm not sure my kids would believe you right now. :)

Rena - I've learned to let him do his thing...although occasionally I'll give him a nudge when I think someone might actually want to get back to work!

K - That would be weird! Maybe she learned not to be quite so enthusiastic about sharing the experience... :)

Green Girl - These things just roll off his back.

Kelly said...

Hee! Whatta guy!
My dad is like that too!

adrienne said...

Anne - My husband was even reluctant to tell the kids about this encounter.

Kelly - Ha! How was that growing up?

Lilfix said...

OMG! Too Funny....You can look at it like this...there is never a boring moment when you husband is around...grin...

p.s. I nominated you for the Kreativ Blogger Award on Hazel's Crock Pot Kitchen...Hugs..

LW said...

I bet the cashier will think twice before she does this again …

on the other hand your hubby must be a fun loving guy that people respond too…
Just think of the smiling faces he has left behind in his lifetime..

Louise

Debbie said...

Awkward! And hysterical. Sounds like some crazy situation I would find myself in.

PJ Hoover said...

Hilarious! But I'm impressed he wanted to feel it move. I do this all the time with pregnant women, but I guess as a girl, I have a pass.

C.R. Evers said...

LOL! Better to have an overly-friendly hubby than a cranky jerk! :0) Too funny!

adrienne said...

Lilfix - That's true, it's never dull... :D
Thanks for the nom!

Louise - Yep, he's a charmer! And I agree - it was probably the cashier who learned a lesson this time.

Debbie - I'll bet we all have some good 'awkward moment' stories... :D

PJ - I'm not sure there's a polite way to turn down that offer, now that I think about it.

Christy - So true! And I'll bet the kids would be way more embarrassed by parents who yell and make a scene.

Keats The Sunshine Girl said...

Life's like that!! Never a dull moment!

Ocean Girl said...

Hi, may I join in the camaraderie?

Only in America! Really cute story.

adrienne said...

Keats - So true! Really, I prefer it that way.

Ocean Girl - Of course! The more the merrier! Thanks for visiting my blog.

msprimadonna67 said...

Oh, that IS awkward. How funny!