Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Instead of Aides, Maybe They Could Call Them Hinders

My son came home from school yesterday and informed me that the playground aides are a bunch of meanies. No offense to anyone who offers their time to responsibly monitor the behavior and safety of school kids. However, I can’t help thinking some people choose this occupation because they actually enjoy yelling at kids and thinking up ways to spoil their fun.

The latest complaint came because one of the kids was accidently knocked down during a game of tag. This prompted the aide on duty to decree that from now on the kids would have to play a modified game of tag. The person who is ‘it’ could chase subjects until his or her hand was close to another player’s shoulder, and then call, “Tag, you’re it.”

In other words, they may continue to play tag…as long as they don’t actually TAG anyone.

Realizing right away the absurdity of this rule, the kids invented their own version of tag. They call it Telepathy Tag. They just stand there staring at each other, until someone calls out, “Tag!” Really, why bother running around and working up a sweat if you can’t actually tag anyone? Of course, they also realized right away that it was pretty easy to cheat at this game.

The aides also decided that the kids could only play on the monkey bars if they went one by one, in one direction only, and in an orderly fashion.

So, to get things straight, the new playground rules are: No tagging while playing tag, and no monkeying around on the monkey bars. I wonder what’s next. Dodge ball with no ball, and no dodging, either?

I told my son to wait 'til after winter break and see what happens. Who knows, maybe Santa will be good to them, and they'll lighten up a little.


Kelly said...

Ha, Telepathy tag-well, that's creative!
That is silly that today kids just can't be kids sometimes! Part of it is probably sue happy parents!

Suzie said...

That is very silly. Bad aids meany

PJ Hoover said...

Ok, can I use telepathy tag in my next Emerald Tablet book?

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Oh man, that makes me think of the kids at my sons' school--they're always being "grounded" from football. There must be some really pissy parents mad about playground injuries because in my opinion it MUST be easier just to let them play!!!

sruble said...

Telepathy Tag is hilarious. I bet it drives the aides up a wall!

Tag w/o tag and no monkeys on the monkey bars sounds really awful. It sounds like they don't want to let kids be kids these days.

Oh, and no more dodgeball. Lots of places have outlawed it.

I liked the playground helpers until 1st or second grade, when I got in trouble for something I shouldn't have gotten in trouble for, and the aide was being nosey too. After that, I tried to avoid them whenever possible.

I hope your son can avoid them in the new year, or that they will lighten up a little!

Sandra Evertson said...

Love your collage houses below! Sending Season's Greetings!
Sandra Evertson

Carrie Harris said...

Telepathy tag. I'm SO going to play this game with my ninja friends. ;)

Rena said...

Tag has actually been banned in some schools. I grew up having to play dodgeball. It wouldn't be bad if you were allowed NOT to play if you didn't want to, but that wasn't the case. Put a bunch of little girls in a middle and have the boys pelt them with hard rubber balls. And they want to ban tag -- sheesh!

adrienne said...

Kelly - I thought that was clever! But yeah, I wish they'd let kids be kids.

Suzie - Some of them scare me, too :(

PJ - Absolutely!

Green Girl - I remember reading this line in Dr. Spock's Baby Care that says if your child never gets injured, you're watching him too closely...and his spirit will be broken!

Sruble - I'm actually surprised they do play dodgeball here...but I wouldn't be surprised if it's next to go.
Maybe Santa will bring the aides some chill pills...

Sandra - Thank you!

Carrie - The good thing is you can play it anywhere :)

Rena - I never liked dodgeball myself - but still, kids need to run and climb. They even took the swings away. Makes me wonder what'll be left for them to do!

Bish Denham said...

Oh my goodness. You know, it's not safe to be a kid, you might get hurt. Maybe those aides should ban kids for the play ground!

How clever of the kids to come up with Telepathy Tag. Love it!

adrienne said...

Bish - Ha! But if we leave them in the classroom they might get a paper cut.

LW said...

Clever kids…