Monday, April 20, 2009

It Was Unintentional. Really.

We went out to dinner, something we don’t get to do often as a family. We were all a bit edgy because there hadn’t really been a consensus on where to go, and not everyone was convinced. As we sipped drinks and a couple of us pushed romaine around on our plates, I glanced at the empty bread plate next to me.

“Who ate my garlic bread?” I demanded.

There was mumbling about some confusion, and then despite my objection, my husband called the waitress over.


“Could we get another piece of garlic bread?” he asked.


“Would you like a large order for the whole table?” she asked.


“No. Just another piece. I accidentally ate hers.”

As the waitress walked off looking thoroughly confused, I just had to ask. “Um, how do you accidentally eat something?”

I realized he meant he didn’t know the bread was mine and he helped himself, but I got really amused at the idea of eating something by accident.

Maybe by some quirk of fate you accidentally fell on a piece of bread with your mouth open. Or someone took you by surprise and stuffed a piece of bread into your mouth. But how would you explain chewing and swallowing repeatedly? It’s like saying I accidentally spent that $100 that was in your wallet, sandwiched between the ten dollar bill and the Costco receipt. Or I accidentally backed over the neighbor’s ugly plastic lawn ornament nineteen times.

Anyway, I’m still curious. I might accidentally eat whatever’s left in the kids’ Easter baskets, and I’m going to need a good explanation.

16 comments:

ICQB said...

Once my daughter got a big candy bar with a gift for her birthday. It was on the table one day, and the next it was gone. She hadn't eaten it. We finally found out that my husband had eaten it. He said, "I didn't know who it belonged to, so I ate it."

Like he couldn't have asked around : )

Suzie said...

Yeah I accidently ate all my sons Halloweeen candy last year

PJ Hoover said...

I've totally been accidentally eating the Easter candy :)

Bish Denham said...

I have actually accidentally forgotten NOT to eat the chocolate Easter eggs. One more than one occasion.

It's those senior moments don't you know...

Rena said...

LMAO!

Suzanne Casamento said...

Hey now, it happens all the time. Yesterday I accidentally ate an entire pizza covered in sausage, pepperoni and mushrooms!

Brenda said...

I accidentally on purpose eat every piece of chocolate left unattended in my, my family and my friend's home...they don't hide the fine china when I come over, they hide the chocolate...grin...

Mary Witzl said...

Actually, my husband does this all the time. I think males have a grazing mode they can fall into at the drop of a hat. Maybe not all of them do this, but a significant number are affected. I've asked around and I'm not the only woman who's noticed it. And garlic bread is definitely something that a man is going to inadvertantly consume. Broccoli, on the other hand, is probably safe. Unless it's smothered in cheese.

LW said...

I accidentally ate the bag of Frito-Lay's,
My daughter accidentally maxed out her charge card.
My husband accidentally ate the kids chocolate Easter eggs before the Easter bunny came.

so how ugly is that plastic lawn ornament?

Louise

Rebecca Ramsey said...

That's hilarious.
My sixteen year old accidentally inhales food on a regular basis.

Anne Spollen said...

Yes! No more responsibility for eating all the chocolate! It was an accident! So glad I stopped by your blog today; I no longer have to feel guilty about my Cadbury connection.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I confess I accidentally ate dog once. I was tired of the choice presented to me of "chicken or meat" while in Egypt. Live and learn, eh?

sruble said...

"Maybe by some quirk of fate you accidentally fell on a piece of bread with your mouth open. Or someone took you by surprise and stuffed a piece of bread into your mouth. But how would you explain chewing and swallowing repeatedly? It’s like saying I accidentally spent that $100 that was in your wallet, sandwiched between the ten dollar bill and the Costco receipt. Or I accidentally backed over the neighbor’s ugly plastic lawn ornament nineteen times."

Ha! Especially the lawn ornament. I can totally picture the glee on your face when that happened ;)

A "mouse" could eat the Easter candy while the kids are at school. It happened to my Halloween candy once, only the mouse woke me up and I saw him eating my candy. It's a wonder that I still like mice after that.

adrienne said...

ICQB - So I guess it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission :)

Suzie, PJ, Suzanne - Yep, I can see how it could happen to anyone!

Bish - I might do that, but only if I'd forgotten where I hid it :)

Brenda - I'll keep that in mind if you're ever heading my way ;)

Mary - My brother was a champ at that. Once I left a glass of soapy water on the counter just to see him take a swig. His only comment was, "Whatever that was, it didn't taste very good."

Louise - I guess ugly is in the eye of the beholder, but a few lawn ornaments could only be improved by being run over a few times :D

Becky - Funny! I can see that one coming...

Anne - Always glad to help! :-D

Green Girl - Woof :P

Sruble - Ha! I think it's a wonder if you still eat Easter candy after that.

adrienne said...

Sruble - Oops, I meant Halloween candy. At least, I wouldn't reach into the bag without looking first...

sruble said...

I thought that might be what you meant :) We had some sort of storage system for the Halloween candy after that, but I don't remember what it was. Tupperware maybe? Or keeping the candy in the freezer (my mom's favorite place to hide chocolate - too bad we found out about it).