Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Replace Cap After Using

Do you…

…watch your step?
…read all instructions before operating?
…read directions before assembly?
…wait 2 minutes before serving?
…peel back plastic at corner to vent?
…do the patch test prior to each application?
…push down and turn?
…pull sharply?
…squeeze gently from bottom?
…use with adequate ventilation?
…take a moment to note of the location of all emergency exits?
…wipe down sink as a courtesy to the next passenger?
…wait to be seated?
…wait for the beep?
…wait here until your number is called?
…take a number?
…use only as directed?
…cut on the dotted line?
…sign on the dotted line?
…complete and return?
…fold here?
…detach here?
…affix stamp here?
…tear across here?
…have your account number ready?
... have your ID ready?
…hold while your call is being directed?
…silence your cell phone?
…close cover before striking?
…keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times?
…keep out?
... keep out of direct sunlight?
…keep right?
…keep this portion for your records?
…shake vigorously?
…wipe your feet?
…scratch and sniff?
…peel and stick?
…push tab?
…pull tab?
…lift tab?
…insert tab?
…lather, rinse, and repeat?
…feel like you have too many directions to follow?

Go ahead. Give a great big squeeze right in the middle.

18 comments:

Suzie said...

I always push down and pull

Rebecca Ramsey said...

My favorite is what they write on the shower cleaning spray hanging in my shower stall: This is not a body wash.

Kim Kasch said...

Read the instructions...? I'm more of a trial and error kinda gal.

I guess I just like living on the edge-I even cut the tag off pillows and mattresses. Haven't had the pillow police visit my house-yet ;-)

adrienne said...

Suzie - Do you shake vigorously afterwards? ;)

Becky - That makes me giggle. Guess its not to be confused with all the other body washes that come in spray bottles.

Kim - I'm a tag ripper/instruction skipper too!

PJ Hoover said...

Funny list!

Rena said...

Great list. LOL @ scratch & sniff. I don't even want to go there.

LW said...

I jump right in and squeeze the middle....
and never drink a full glass of water..

fun list...

Louise

GutsyWriter said...

Please don't tell me that you came up with this list. If so, you're amazing. Loved them and thought how we're given us intsructions all the time.

Bish Denham said...

You know, I think I can trace back our governement's need to make rules to make us safe (what a laugh) with the match book. Once the striker was on the front. It got switched to the back and "close cover before striking" was added. Now we are bombarded with reminders for those who have lost or don't have any common sense.

Personally I always take a moment to note the location of all emergency exits. Never know when you're going to need one!

adrienne said...

Rena - That one could be risky :D

LW - Me too! (But don't get me started on what my kids do to toothpaste tubes)

GutsyWriter - Loved your comment! Ah, who knows what would happen if we had to think for ourselves once in a while.

Bish - I haven't looked at a book of matches in so long, I wondered if they still put that!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I'm exhausted now!

Rena said...

I've nominated you for an art blog award over on my blog. Check it out!

sruble said...

Aren't you supposed to just go for it and only read the instructions if something goes wrong? Or have I been going about life in the wrong way all these years? ;)

Kelly said...

I thought I was a strict rule follower until I read the list...I guess I don't always follow the directions..:0)

adrienne said...

Green Girl - Oops, sorry. Maybe you should avoid operating heavy machinery ;)

Rena - Thanks :)

Sruble - No, that sounds about right!

Kelly - Tsk! You rebel, you.

Mary Witzl said...

This is a brilliant list. And I ought to be a little worried that I really do a lot of this stuff. I certainly squeeze the tube from the bottom, watch my step, and wipe the seat after using -- I'm religious about that.

Like Kim, though, I do have a reckless side. I've cut the tags off most of the cushions in my house too. You've got to rebel somewhere.

adrienne said...

Mary - Now I'm wondering how many I actually do. I'm sure there's a personality quiz there somewhere!

Brenda said...

What a list...I didn't know I had so many directions in my life...now I feel like being a little rebel and I just might not sign on the dotted line...grin...